Overcome Fear of Judgment (How I Changed My Insecurity About My Height) | Motivation Monday

The fear of getting judged by other people was extremely intense for me and a lot of people…

…because it confirms all our insecurities and fears we have about ourselves.

When we don’t have the confidence and acceptance to stand inside our insecurities, we are ruled by them.

Growing up, being short was the excuse that I let hold me back.

(This was originally a YouTube video. Check it out here, https://youtu.be/QA-Uh0hM73M)

I’m 5'4" now and was even shorter growing up.

And was almost always in the front of the line at school when we lined up by height. Hated it.

Because I was short, I let it affect my confidence growing up. I always wished I was 2 inches taller.

“God, why didn’t you make me be at least 2 inches taller. I could be as tall as most girls if I was…”

I envied my taller friends. I never gave myself a chance because of my height. The resounding thought was… why try?

Naturally, you can see how I would always think people were making fun of me for my height. Or that I shouldn’t even try because I’m short. Or being short is a character flaw and no attractive girl will date me.

Except I was wrong, my freshman year, I ended up going to a homecoming dance with a girl who was taller than me WITHOUT heels. About to +3 inches taller. And with heels, she towered over me.

We were in line for our homecoming dance formal pictures (I’m 35 now that was a long time ago!)

The room was filled with excited teenage chit-chat, bright flashes, and the sound of the camera clicking.

Next was our turn. My date sits down on a chair, and I shuffle behind her.

Our photograph quickly takes a shot. And looks down to review it, but makes a weird squinting face.

He disappears behind his tarp and reappears with a wooden box. The wooden box of death by embarrassment.

He tosses to the floor and kicks it in my direction. He eyes the box and motions with his head.

As to say, “Get on the box.”

I’m absolutely mortified.

The pit of my stomach drops, and it feels like there are 1000 butterflies furiously trying to escape my body.

The worse thing is one of her friends. Who doesn’t like me, and in turn, I don’t like him.

Points at me and my platform box. Whispers to his date, and starts laughing.

I’m not an angry person. And I don’t know how to fight.

But I’m furious and want to see my fist punch that smug little grin off his stupid face.

Oddly enough, my friend wanting to beat him up… calmed me down. But it was always lingering in the back of my mind.

I thought about it later.

And asked myself, “Why do I care so much about a guy who’s opinion doesn’t even matter. Why does my insecurity about my height control me so much.”

It’s because it meant I was weak. I wasn’t like everyone else. I was unattractive.

(Which is crazy because my date was a girl that was taller than me, but my insecurity didn’t allow me to see it at that time.)

Also, it confirmed all my insecurities about myself because deep down I wanted his approval and validation.

I had a realization. Petty at the time, but it helped me start overcoming my insecurity about my height.

I never wanted someone to have control over me based on what they thought. I had the insight that if my insecurity about my height was no longer an insecurity… no one could affect me like that again.

If I didn’t care about my height, it wouldn’t affect me.

My height is something that I can’t change so I can either be angry, emotional, and insecure about it.

And be affected by every little comment, glance, and joke. Or I can accept it and figure out a way to make it a strength.

That’s ultimately what I set out to do.

My height became a fire to better all areas of my life so even when I accept my height, I knew that it will still be a disadvantage in some areas.

But if I don’t have the emotional attachment to my height, I can learn to work around the disadvantages or identify if it’s really a disadvantage or not.

It the shame of hiding our insecurities that make them bigger. I didn’t want to hide or avoid it anymore.

If you can’t improve and change it, highlight and feature it.

But either way, accept where you are because acceptance is the first step to being able to let insecurity be nothing more than thoughts inside your head and physical sensations in your body.

Our insecurities and what other people think can be seen as what they really are…

…just words and pictures inside our head and the words people say.

That’s all they are.

We get to ultimately choose what the meaning is. We get to interpret it how we want. We get can choose to believe something different.

It’s simple, but not easy.

Because we have to learn how to see our thoughts and emotions outside of ourselves.

Because we have to learn how to deal with the immediate, intense emotions that come up.

Because we don’t feel like we have control.

But we have more control than we think.

This is a skill. And like any skill, it will take practice.

Start small and begin to change your perspective on those thoughts and experiences.

But it’s one of the best skills I ever learned.

Not just how to not fear the judgment of other people.

But how to reframe an experience to be empowering instead of limiting.

Because when you can, you can take any experience and turn it into learning and motivation.

P.S. This was originally a YouTube video that you can find here: https://youtu.be/QA-Uh0hM73M

P.S.S. Would love to hear any of your stories or feedback below!